


Stay

by Zoozleplug (Josie_Lynn)



Category: Good Game (TV 2017), Good Game - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Multi, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 03:25:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13204839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Josie_Lynn/pseuds/Zoozleplug
Summary: Alex gets drunk one night and Ryland learns more than he ever has.





	Stay

“That’s it, buddy, let it all out,” Ryland cooed as he held Alex’s hair in one hand, the other rubbing his back as Alex vomited into the toilet. He heard broken sobs coming from him, sighing as he continued to rub his back.

This wasn’t a rare occurrence when Alex drank. He’d have a few hard drinks, he’d flirt with Ryland a bit, then he’d just…he’d start crying. Ryland would love to say that he was used to it by now, but he still couldn’t stand to see Alex hurting in any way.

So here he was, another night of watching Alex barf and cry about something he never told him.

“I’m such an asshole,” Alex murmured, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand.

“No, you’re not,” Ryland attempts to reassure, but Alex’s vomit covered fingers brush against his face as he shushes him.

“Shh, shh, I am though,” Alex slides off the toilet bowl and his cheek is now pressed to the floor, staring at the wall.

“I assure you that you’re not an asshole, Alex,” Ryland moves to sit behind Alex, legs crossed as he starts to pet his hair, “You’re just really oblivious.”

“I wasn’t always.” Alex turns to face Ryland, eyes dazed and face a mess.

“I mean, not everyone starts off oblivious, man.”

“Yeah, but I like…” Alex sighs and he attempts to pull himself off the ground. Ryland helps him lift his torso, a tight hold on him as he scoots back to lean himself against the wall. “I was really awful to people, Ry.”

“Awful how? Like Kamal awful or like…." He pauses as he tries to think of other example, "I don’t know what’s worse than Kamal, but what do you mean?”

Alex shrugs and messes with his necklace, fingers trailing down the chain and messing with the charm attached to it.

“After the band ended, I just….” His voice is already getting shaky, from what Ryland can tell, but he doesn’t make an attempt to stop him, “I had no idea how I was going to start paying rent. The royalties from the songs weren’t paying much, so I had to fucking…” Alex takes a deep breath again.

“Take your time,” Ryland whispers, patting his knee and giving him a gentle smile.

“I did a lot of things with people just to keep a roof over my head,” Ryland nodded as he listened, and Alex continued, “Some of it was really innocent, just doing laundry, cleaning, watching children and the like. Then some of it….some of it took a turn.”

Ryland waited for Alex to finish, and Alex stared back at him.

“Well? Is that it?”

“Oh, I thought you’d ask what I meant by ‘took a turn’.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt you.” A fondness crosses Alex’s face and he looks down at his lap.

“I was like a dignified prostitute in a way.” Alex mumbled, “My clients were huge fans of the band and like…knew that I had fallen. So they took that as an opportunity to like….try and be the person who lifted me back up again.”

“So just trying to make it big by fucking you back to happiness?” Ryland questioned. Alex nodded and laughed dryly.

“Yeah. It was a rough scene,” Alex scratched at his arms, “They were giving me everything I needed to survive, and I was just giving them…sex.”

“Like a sugar baby then?”

“….sure, I like candy.” Alex held out his hand and waited. Ryland chuckled and shook his head, pushing Alex’s hand back.

“No, sugar baby is someone who receives gifts and stuff in exchange for like….companionship and sex. Which is basically what was going on with you?”

“Oh….” Alex frowned for a minute before shrugging again, “I guess.”

“But what eventually happened? You had more than one sugar person, so like…what was the deal?”

“Well, some of them weren’t….aware of me having more than one person I was fucking. So when word got out, I was just. Done for, I guess.”

“Did you lose money?”

“Ha, money?” Alex began to laugh in a nearly maniacal way, “I lost money, my apartment, and my credibility. I was just nothing to people and any hope of my stupid band getting back together was ruined. No one wants to buy content from a known whore, especially if you’ve got sources to kill you.”

“You’re not a whore.”

“A whore is someone who gets paid for sex. And what was I doing, Ry?”

“You were getting paid for sex.”

“I was getting paid for sex.”  Alex huffs, but his expression changes almost immediately as he stares at his hands.

“After word got out and I was on my ass, I was just going to bars, sleeping on people’s couches, and smoking weed.”

“Well, you still do that.” Alex flipped him off, and he smiled back.

“I know, but it was worse back then….I had no real accomplishments in my life other than some fucking 80s glam band that only I cared about. And I wasn’t good enough to just have it be myself.”

“I’ve heard you sing, dude.” Ryland moves closer to him, placing a hand on his knee and squeezing it, “You’re like, insanely good.”

“Yeah, I guess, but that part of my life is over now, Ry.” Alex sighs, putting his hand over Ryland’s. “Now you’re in my life, and I’m just….” Alex pauses for a minute, and then his face scrunches up as he begins to bawl, head falling between his knees and body shaking.

“It’s okay, I know.” He squeezes Alex’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. He was being honest; he knew that Alex was grateful for Ryland taking him in. He didn’t want to sound like a prick, but Alex had told him this nearly every time he got drunk and cried. Always letting him know that he saved him.

“I was going to kill myself the night I flirted with you, Ry.” Alex slurs his words, nonsensical through his crying.

Well. This wasn’t something he knew about.

“The owner of that bar, he’d been letting me sleep in the back room, with all the fucking alcohol and equipment and just….I felt awful. I felt like I was nothing to people, and I used to be someone. Sure, I wasn’t big but….” He sniveled, wiping at his wet face.

“Alex…” Ryland didn’t know what to say. He wanted to console his partner, but with a confession like this? He was at a loss. Ryland shuts himself up, and Alex starts up again.

“I saw you as like…my last fuck before I would finish it all,” Alex shrugged, “But I was….so scared. You took me home with you, no one had taken me out of that bar in months. And like….I fucking….I broke.”

Ryland recalls the night, Alex barfing on the couch he now sleeps on and crying about rock bands and alcohol and sex. With tonight’s conversation, it all makes sense now. That Alex had been really going through something.

“I broke, and you offered to help put me back together. You didn’t even want anything in return.”

“I wanted rent, but sure.” Ryland hopes that can pass off as a joke.

“If we win Bloodmatch, we’ll never have to worry about rent ever again. We could buy a house together, and we could use the money we usually save for rent on things like….uh….” Alex blanked for a moment. “What do rich people spend their money on?”

“Everything.” Alex laughs.

“Well…. why buy everything when you’re all I need, right?” Alex’s voice is sincere as he speaks to Ryland, and he lets out a nervous laugh, almost tearing up from the sudden rush of emotions.

“Okay, that’s very sweet of you, Alex, but let’s, um, get you cleaned up and in bed.” Alex nods, and he throws himself onto Ryland, knocking them both onto the tiled floor.

“Fuckin’, goddammit, Alex, I’m not cleaning you myself.” Ryland complains, but he lets out a little chuckle as Alex nuzzles into him.

“I love you, Ryland. No matter what embarrassing internet video of you raging against a video game comes up, it will never make me stop loving you.” Ryland huffs out a laugh.

“I love you too, buddy.” Alex lifts himself up and stares into Ryland’s eyes. His expression is heated, and for a moment he looks sober.

“No. I love you, Ryland. As in…I think I’m in love with you.” Alex whispers in that sincere voice again.

Ryland’s heart skips a beat.

“Also, I think I’m gonna barf again.”

“Please not on me.” Alex scrambles to the toilet as he vomits again, body shaking as he does.

“Urgh, just bring my blankets and pillow here, I don’t know if I’m gonna make it to the couch.” He waves his hand at Ryland, shooing him away as he continues to vomit.

Ryland pulls himself off the linoleum and makes his way to Alex’s couch. Folded up haphazardly beside the couch is his blanket, a pillow thrown on top of it. Ryland gathers up the materials and walks back to the bathroom, finding Alex curled up beside the tub. His hair is covering his face and Ryland can see that he made an attempt to clean his face of any excess vomit. He gives a weak smile as he kneels, covering Alex with the blanket.

“Thank you,” Alex slurs.

“No problem, Lexi.” Ryland goes to stand up before Alex grabs his sleeve.

“Stay, please.” Alex is looking up at Ryland with a desperate look on his face. Ryland nods and sinks back down to the floor. Alex lifts the blanket and Ryland shuffles underneath it, shivering slightly before he remembers the pillow he dropped above them. Grabbing for it, he signals for Alex to lift his head, so he can slide the pillow underneath them.

“Don’t try to kiss me.” Ryland warns. He sees Alex frown before he speaks again. “At least…not tonight.” Alex’s face lights up and he bumps his nose against Ryland’s before intertwining their fingers together.


End file.
